hi, i’m back. and happy spring!
hey starstuff,
wow, where to begin. it’s my kid’s 1st birthday today. so i guess i’ve been away just over a whole year. it truly takes that long, and longer, to adjust to a new family member. ’twas a rocky road, but we made it and we’re all so glad he’s here!
so what makes now the time to return? my husband and i don’t lead the most conventional of lives. but i had a very conventional upbringing, so being used to a year long maternity leave away from one’s place of work has its programming in me. plus one is truly a marker, developmentally speaking. my kid isn’t walking yet, and doesn’t seem to be in a huge hurry to get there, but generally speaking, he’s just that much more independent (especially from me). he can spend several hours at a time with his dad and brother. he’s awake as much as he sleeps now. he sees what he wants, and if it’s within reach, he can get it for himself. he’s still just one, of course. so he’s still “high needs.” but the shift is remarkable, palpable, even.
but it’s more than that. i observe two different “new years” every year, and the zodiacal new year ~ when pisces becomes aries ~ is most potent. it’s the same “new year” sensation is accompanied by ostara, the spring equinox, when we celebrate “the sun” with equal nights and days. i’ve heard recently from a few sources to not give oneself a hard time when january 1 rolls around and you find it difficult to commit to a new habit or regime. the earth, and us along with her, is still very much slow moving and asleep during capricorn season! it’s just 10 days after the winter solstice commences, and the winter season is very much for solo time, introspection, and inner work. in my part of the world, it’s cold and wet, so warm fires, dim lighting, working through challenging feelings, and eating chocolate is at the forefront of my activities (as well as taking vitamin d).
so happy astrological new year to you. i’d be so curious to know what each of you who are reading this have brewing in your life right now. because i bet things are heating up for you. i bet a bunch of us are feeling the warmth of the sun, and return of the spring stirring in our bones. i bet we’re feeling peppier, and finding it a little easier to smile, access lightness. i bet some exciting plans are starting to take shape. i bet we’re feeling more committed to a new habit or routine that felt out of reach a couple of months ago. i bet we’re feeling less like we’re just coping and more like we have some momentum and motivation.
…or maybe that’s all just me. hence, hi, i’m back.
another thing that makes this a momentous time to return: it’s eclipse season! and i’ve made it just in time, as the second of the two eclipses happens on monday, april 8, 2024 around 11:20 PST. it’ll be at 19 degrees aries, for those of you following along with your own chart. also, mercury is retrograde in aries from april 1-25, 2024, which i’ll say more about down below.
what does this all mean? i wouldn’t be surprised to hear that you’ve been feeling the heightened energies since the first eclipse happened on march 25, 2024 – it was at 5 degrees libra. it was a full moon (of course, because eclipses only happen on either full or new moons), and i had a major blow-out with my kid. he was a lunatic on a playdate with a friend from school, and this mama and i were having our first hangout. i felt self-conscious about how i was managing his behaviour with this new-to-me mama (who was the epitome of grace, by the way). parenting is a particularly vulnerable act, especially when one is sleep-deprived. all your own childhood traumas rear their heads, repeatedly. and if you’re not conscious about it, you’ll hear yourself being your parents. and for me, that’s legitimately unacceptable, because i grew up in an abusive home. so i’m constantly correcting myself, finding myself stuck in reactionary ways, sometimes even going into a dissociative state (because that’s how my nervous system knows how to “get safe” once it’s been pushed to its limit). and being in public when your kid is spitting everywhere, destroying other peoples’ beautiful work or efforts, and yelling random things at strangers… well that was “triggering” for my nervous system.
let me clarify on the usage of the term “lunatic.” my son was born on a full moon. when i call him a lunatic, i say it with reverence. because like clockwork, on a full moon, let alone an eclipse full moon, his tendency to dysregulate skyrockets. he has mars in libra, so this particular eclipse was brushing up against his angry, aggressive, assertive and take-action side. and alas, he was spitting fire. meanwhile, i was having the eclipse conjunct my venus – the planet of love. i would say the event kick-started a strong desire in me to get out of some unhealthy ruts i’ve been in with him, particularly in my unloving reactions to his dysregulation. and the energies have made me more open to figuring out what the new and healthier options are. and i know to focus my energies on “love,” since the eclipse conjuncted my venus.
mercury retrogrades are also a great time to be addressing any communication patterns you’d like to shift. if there’s someone in your life that you keep getting into a rut with, dialogue-wise, including yourself, and you really just want to leave that pattern behind, use the gusto of a mercury retrograde to get up and out of it. that’s what i’m doing with my kid. i’m naming how i’ve been, and why its not working, and then i’m talking about how i’m going to be different, and i start implementing that shift right away so he knows i mean it. it’s amazing how much can shift in communication between two people when even just one person makes the decision to change (as it goes with parenting).
this mercury retrograde is in aries, so it’s all about being direct and starting something new with regards to communication and mental activity. with that in mind, i’m actively working with a team of people to help me address my mental health concerns that are sometimes impeding my parenting. herbs, psychotropic meds, magic, it’s all in the field of possibility right now. and it feels potent.
what about you? can you think of a person you connect with where you’d like to mix up your communication approach? i should mention, this is also a common time to hear from “voices of the past.” exes and old friends are common, but you’ll know it if it happens to you! also, maybe for those a little less experienced with observing mercury retrogrades: they happen 3-4 times per year for about 3 weeks at a time, and it’s common to have your electronics go wonky, as well as travel and event plans go awry. for us, my baby’s birthday celebrations have been cancelled twice because we all have a sinus infection right now. funny, the sinuses are in the head, and aries rules the head, and mercury is retrograde in aries. juuuust saying…
and finally, i have to tell you that there’s the BIGGEST TRANSIT OF THE YEAR happening on april 20, 2024, when jupiter will conjunct uranus – an event that only happens every 13 years, or so. can you remember back to june 2010? was something “big” and perhaps unusual/unpredictable/revolutionary happening for you? it doesn’t even have to be the month. when a conjunction like this happens in the sky, the reverberations can happen a little before, and a long time afterwards, depending on how it all unfolds in your individual chart. for me, that was the summer that i graduated from my bodywork training, which was definitely big for me, and the work itself is somewhat unusual. so that ticks the boxes for me.
i’m going to say more about the BIGGEST TRANSIT OF THE YEAR when i touch in next – sometime between the eclipse (april 8) and the jupiter-uranus transit (april 20).
holler at me below if any of this sparked anything for you and you’d like to share! i’d love love love to hear if it resonates for anyone. and i’ll reply to you! so feel free to ask any questions.
ps. in case anyone is wondering, the other “new years” i celebrate is samhain (october 31), the witches’ new year.
pps. gosh, i haven’t been listening to anything but kids’ music these days. and as a result, i’ve spent the last year hunting for quality kids’ music with tremendous skill and talent, and i’ve found some real gems, like this one ~ sister moon and brother sun, the okee dokee brothers, feat. sihasin, a Diné brother and sister duo out of arizona.
Its so amazing to think back.and remember the big big changes that were happening for us in 2010 and to be where we are now… riding on the waves of spring with big big changes in the horizon for us. Yet again! This is so exciting!! Welcome back and thank you for sharing!!!
Happy Year one, Mother of Two!!
Xo
so exciting! the “big” conjunction on its way can only be described as such! thanks so much, grateful for you, being here with us all. xo
Hi.
Excellent blog/expression! Thank you.
The “voices from the past”(exes) part resonated with me. A couple nights ago I had a very intense/emotional dream with my es. Along with that I felt that we had ‘shared’ that dream. I feel that people do share dreams sometimes, or at least resonate with each other. The interpretation does get clouded because of the individual frame of reference. Also some people will rationalize things until it’s all denied. No way to prove or disprove things like that.
Anyway, that’s my little comment..
……….cheering you on……..
…..
hey! thanks for sharing. i bet the eclipse season really brings on a dreamy quality and a deeper connection to dreams for some folks – or maybe most of us! neat to hear that your ex got in touch via your dreams. i wonder what’s happening with neptune in your chart. those exes, they can get embedded in our psyche…
Nice to hear you back in action with this. I’m thinking of how flus and colds are “collective” in their essence, but experienced directly in individuals. In 2010 I was transitioning, expansively weird, perhaps? Drunk on the excitement of being so decisively true to myself. Now so over it, wanting to race rc cars with others, fighting a sense of despair at the thought of reaching out. – am I the only one (well, except for my buddy J)? Nice to hear this music especially the kids digging in the yard…. dig on! <3
wow, is that ever so relevant to life right now. i wonder if the collectiveness of sicknesses felt this poignant pre-covid? or has the post-pandemic era made us all feel especially “together” when the viruses go around? not sure re: reaching out… only one way to find out if you’re the only one. love you, glad you enjoyed the music. we shall dig on, indeed. xo